Puttin' On The Ritz

More sophisticated by the second, etc.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Finding Your Voice, etc.

Why yes, hello. We here at Puttin’ On The Ritz have been quite busy, apparently. Perhaps you do not believe me. What have you been up to? We’ve been practicing a bunch, honing our craft, etc. We spent the vast majority of our day hidden from view, our perhaps it might be better said that we were recording. We did a bunch of different takes of our tunes, trying to get as far out there and fun and fucked up as humanly possible. We did this all for you, despite the fact that you might not have been paying very close attention. If it makes any difference, I’m quite drunk right now and have not slept since any of this happened. I’m trying to make it as authentic as possible for you, the reader. Time might heal all wounds, but it also distances you from the experience, so to speak. Regardless, hello. We had a blast today, and we hope you did too. Our good friend J Ellis recorded our songs for posterity, and for your listening pleasure even. He managed to bring out quite a bit of the good stuff in us without really trying, apparently. So there. Anyway, we had a riotous time recording, even though I was losing my voice through most of it. People forget (or fail to notice) just how punk rock we are, on occasion. My biggest influences for this band include Flipper and Throbbing Gristle, even if you can’t hear it. I’ve even been hugged for saying so. We played an amazing show tonight, which I’m just about to tell you all about, if I can only say about a few more times this sentence (please say it with a Canadian accent, as if you were all about the house, etc.).

July 24, 2004 -- Tommy’s Tavern, Brooklyn
Having the home field advantage never seemed so hostile. We were setting up and some dude was giving Kevin a hard time, saying that he “picked a bad place to play, son”. Kevin was a little scared, but I believe it was those dudes who left, not us. Moreover, people were mad that we even played. I believe I was told that someone wanted to “punch me in the face”. I add the quotation marks merely because it seemed appropriate. Someone from the Tall Boys also complained about the idea of us even getting paid, despite the fact that at least as many people came out to see us as them. I suppose we weren’t officially advertised, but we’ve never let that stop us. Dan Melchior didn’t say anything to me about it, and The Broke Revue performed as well. I chatted with Bruno from the Homosexuals (who I was actually pretty stoked to play with) for a bit later in the evening, and he advised me to try and start a band that Frank Sinatra would be doing now if he were twenty. I told him that that is exactly what we are doing. We get wasted, we’re pretty indulgent, we piss people off, and we don’t write our own songs. Oh yeah, we’re occasionally pretty decent musicians, too. I also learned that I have a copy of one of his records that he doesn’t even own. Nerdy nostalgia, etc. This was the only show that I was actually taunted at. There were some people who loved us, but there were also many people who hated our guts. I would like to thank the people who loved us, we’re here for you. I’d also like to thank the people that hated us, because you’re obviously doing really fun and interesting things with your life. We’re not here to make friends, we’re here to have a good time. You can feel the love or the hate in room, and it generally makes you want to be even more obscene, to be more fucked up and obnoxious. You want them to hate you or love you all the more for it. We want to be infamous. Why not? What do we have to lose? We have no credibility or money to speak of. We’re currently creating our own reputation. We make no apologies. We are hedonists; we try and have as much fucking fun as humanly possible. We also work really hard. But most of all, we truly do love each and every one of you. Whatever your reaction is, you make our lives all the more rich for it, you supply us with stories to tell. We feed on emotion, which we’ve managed to evoke, one way or another. Guess what? Thank you, goodnight.


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