Puttin' On The Ritz

More sophisticated by the second, etc.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

dumbo arts fest, or something

we were first on the 25 band bill. bj had the idea of playing on the street. the mic cord, a well endowed 200 foot love minion, squirted across a mostly empty loading bay. i set up my drums in front of a wall on the sidewalk. a mistake blocking the pa speakers, bj's croons about half a second delay before hitting my ears. but don't worry folks -- i held onto the throttle and motorized the tunes with my manly drum bunny. it was 4:30pm when we started. bj had admirably guzzled 3 16 oz budweisers in less than 20 minutes prior to our "performance." how come no one ever buys our $2 cd's? they're $2 folks. you could lose one of your 5 daily cups of coffee and you'd still live, folks. i'm considering consulting bj about a 25 cent decrease. but keep your pants on folks, this may take some serious negotiating. bartenders are upset when i get a free drink without tipping. do they realize i am making $0? they should tip me for drinking one of their shitty well drinks. i should get a tip for waking up in the morning. CAN YOU RELATE, GERBLE? at some point in the set bj was informed of the mother/infant glaring at us from the 3rd floor window across the street. she looked a little young to have a kid. she might have been a nanny. i like nanny's because they keep things real in the fam. folks: bj sang a compelling version of rainbow connection for the kids watching. dumbo is teaming with strollers. great place to raise your kids. keep up the good work, keep populating the planet, because your child will save the planet. a few things were tossed into my face during the set and not by bj. i like that but not when they are hard objects. does that make sense? this is not the late '70's, people. but i supppose if i was blessed enough to be a puttin' on the ritz audience member (yes you are a team, folks -- be good to your colleagues) i would also gesticulate. i feel bad about almost hitting someone with the drumstick i threw in the air with the hope to catch it. but thats life for you isn't it -- out of nowhere a drumstick falls from the sky right at you. you can move, try to catch it, or get hit on the head by it. can you think of other possibilities? i'll bet you can. i'll bet you $2.