Puttin' On The Ritz

More sophisticated by the second, etc.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

On The Power Of Positive Thinking, etc.

March 28, 2005 -- Trash, Brooklyn
Last night I had all these great and transcendental things I was going to write about the show we had just played. Unfortunately, many of them are lost to history as I was quite drunk and didn't have the energy to actually type them out. In the sober light of morning, the haze has lifted but it also wiped my memory clean; I am now a blank slate, tabula rasa. Well, I do have some recollections. I recollect that I am currently on spring break, and that spring break has turned out to be much different than I had initially imagined. I have somehow been appointed tour manager for The Coolies, which consists of three hooligan girls from New Zealand. How I gained this appointment remains unclear; perhaps it is because I am on spring break and thus have all the time in the world and no real responsibilities. The best part is that I am not even in college anymore. Sunday afternoon I telephoned Anna Barie to see if I could get The Coolies added to our show Monday evening. Anna said that she thought it was a possibility, and that she'd get back to me later about it. She rang back a few hours later to inform me that Knife Skills had just broken up and thus would not be playing the show with us. The Coolies were more than welcome to take their place, apparently. To make matters worse, it might have been pouring rain outside. FACE! opened up, playing to approximately ten of their friends, myself included. We vs. The Shark (from Athens, not Atlanta as I had previously been informed) went on next, and were nice enough to allow certain girls from New Zealand to borrow their gear. Kevin was still nowhere to be seen, and was not answering his telephone either. Nakatomi Plaza followed, although I didn't really watch them as I was trying (and failing) to get in touch with Kevin Shea. The Coolies then went on, and they were fucking great. It is nice when everything works out. Kevin finally rolled in during the last five minutes of their set. We immediately took the stage and went into it. Someone might have brought us beer, although I can't recall exactly who it was. I had really wanted to learn Lime in the Coconut, in honor of spring break. Since I could only manage to remember the chorus, I sang it in the middle of Girl from Ipanema. I neglected to inform Kevin that I would be doing this, but I think he figured it out. Before the show, I had asked Fiona to come up and sing a song with us. She claimed that she would feel uncomfortable singing without a drum kit in front of her. Despite this, I starting screaming about her joining us on stage and she kept screaming back something about me dropping in the standings (I had been in the top five previous to this, although I guess now I have fallen back a few places). There was another casualty last night as well. Somehow I managed to break a second pair of glasses in about two weeks. I don't even know how it happened, it was like they committed suicide or something because they literally broke off my face. Perhaps someone threw a beer can when I wasn't looking and just grazed me -- these things have been known to happen. After the show I went and asked the bartender if there was any money. He almost laughed at me. He held up an o with his fingers and claimed that was how many people had paid to see us. He said that if you can't get ten people to pay to see you in New York you shouldn't bother playing. Perhaps he is right, but perhaps it was pouring rain outside and perhaps he is an asshole. Out of our (literally) tens of fans, several of them actually came out despite the inclement weather. The fact that every single one of them was on someone's guest list should not reflect poorly on us. I only put two people on and they both turned up. They purchased alcohol at the bar. We even made some new fans last night. I think everything is going to be okay, somehow.


  • At 11:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I also very much enjoyed Kevin doing the worm onstage while you played drums, B.J.
    Here's to blank slates everywhere, and future visits to the optometrist and New Zealand.



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