Puttin' On The Ritz

More sophisticated by the second, etc.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Verdant Fields Of Green, etc.

April 15, 2005 -- Juvie Hall, Manhattan
Our Golden Jubilee! And it could not have been weirder! One Elliott Kalan, co-worker of mine and host of Midnight Kalan, asked us to perform on his comedic talk show. We agreed, not really knowing what we were getting ourselves into as neither of us had ever seen it before. Knowing Elliott from work, I figured it would be obscure and fun. There was a guest before us, whose name totally eludes me because I was drunk when I walked in the door. It is too bad that the audience was not back stage with us during the opening act -- not necessarily because it was not entertaining, but because Kevin and I were wasted and screaming at each other in hushed tones. Kevin really wanted to get laid, apparently. I informed him that there may or may not be attractive, available women in the audience but I would see what I would do. He had told me that he did his research for the show by drinking a bunch of bourbon. I did similar research, it would seem. Apparently whatever we were saying was sort of audible in the front of the house, but I don't really know. I snuck out a window in the back to have a cigarette for a little bit so I wasn't really paying all that much attention. Then, Elliott called us out for the interview portion of the evening. Kevin immediately sat down in his chair and proceeded to say nothing at all. I was wasted, drinking a 40, and being really combatative. What do you expect? For me to politely answer any and all questions? Then pizza came and we played almost 2 songs, during which I think Kevin threw his drums around and I screamed because the microphone did not work very well. Elliott cut us off to ask some more questions, most of which were directed at his first guest because I don't think he really knew what to make of us. Were we in character, or are we really just drunks? Then it all ended and I played a solo version of Fly me to the Moon which I don't think anyone really paid attention to. What are friends for? All things considered, I think we were pretty good guests. Wild and unpredictable while surprisingly articulate. At least I don't think I was slurring too much. I couldn't tell if Elliott agreed, but we did our best and despite the strange format, we had fun. I hope that you like them apples, but I'm not going to lose any sleep over it.


  • At 5:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    B.J., you neglect to mention that 'the guest' before you was wearing a frightening ensemble of cat ears, tail and brown tights and that she professed to love the musical CATS, which was disturbing (if maybe not entirely true). Entertainment (POTR) and pizza were tasty, though.



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